Mother died today.
Yeah, those were basically the only three words that I could find the courage to write. I don't think mom even comes close to understand what she left behind. Where were me and my Jake going to stay? Where were we going to live? All these questions were spinning around in my head, but I didn't dare to ask anyone.
Mother was a hard working women, and she owned a heart of gold. She was tiny and no bigger than 5'4, but she was rugged than any women I knew. She was always yelling at me and Jake, and saying how much we made her mad. I always had a feeling that she hated us. We lived in New York City, up in a little apartment on 6th and 7th street. The landlord was always banging on the door.
"Katie, its been 2 months and you still haven't paid your rent."or
"If you don't pay the rent tomorrow then your going to be evicted." Thats what me and Jake heard every other morning. Mom would never go out there and just talk with them though. It was always
"I'll pay it tomorrow, just leave me alone." One time, mother started crying, and I thought she was going to explode. I never could find the right words to comfort her. Nothing I ever said seemed to make any sense in her book.
Mother had a job down at Dunkin Donuts, but It wasn't nearly enough to support me, her, and Jake.
*To be continued.* (:
I really liked this story because I can see it getting better and better as you write more and more of it. You have done a really good job with this story and I wonder what else this story will be like. I wish you wrote more. :)
ReplyDeleteHii... I loved this and how it was very realistic, I liked the dialog you put in it was just enough but not too much. I wonder what would happen if you went on to talk about how she died maybe somehow it could have something to do with her rough character. I wish you wrote more.
ReplyDeleteI liked your story a lot, It was very realistic. I also liked how you described the mother. I wonder what the rest of the story would be like. I wish you had written more.
ReplyDeleteI think that that was a good start to your story and it was really realistic. I wish that you didn't stop there even though you said you were going to add more i really wanted to continue reading. I wonder what is going to happen to lily and jake
ReplyDeleteI really liked this i could really picture this. I wish you could have gone on. I wonder what it would what's going to happen later in the story.
ReplyDeleteHi, Kelcie - I changed browser's so I hope that my comment will actually stick this time! ;) I think you have made a very realistic start to your story with details about their address. I wish you included more information about Lily & Jake because I want to picture them, and there is not enough details for me to see them. Where are you going next, back in time or forward from the mother's death?
ReplyDelete